Establishing Household Responsibility In Your Marriage

Recently, August and I were asked how we establish household responsibility in our marriage. Both of us just kind of looked at each other and thought.. “That’s a great question!” Later on that day it got me thinking of the list of unknowns that I had as an unmarried woman getting ready to step into marriage. These are legit questions! I mean.. Id go as far to say that household responsibility could go right on up there with the topic of finances. (That of course is just my own opinion) with that being said, Here’s my “HOW TO” on Household responsibility in a marriage.

COMMUNICATE…. COMMUNICATE…. COMMUNICATE

Did I say that enough times? I am a firm believer that clear, honest communication is a huge key to maintaining ANY relationship but especially in a marriage! I can’t tell you how many times I have to check myself in thinking “Why can’t he just {Fill in the Blank}”. If I haven’t made him aware of something that bugs me, something that I need help with or my feelings of being overwhelmed than I shouldn’t expect him to just magically know and deliver! That would be like if there was something that I wanted as a birthday present but never vocalized it and expected that to be my gift. Sounds kinda silly, right? Trust me, I am not ashamed of asking August to help me out a bit more in picking up the insane amount toys that get spread throughout the house on the daily. If I do my part in communicating a bugger that gives him an opportunity to be able to assist me in a way that he knows I need.

 

PICK UP THE SLACK

In our home, I am usually the main one cooking, cleaning and straightening up and August likes his clothes washed and ironed a certain way and he knows thats not one of my strengths so he typically does all of our laundry. HOWEVER, If theres ever a week where his schedule just gets crazy I willingly pick up the slack & vice versa. If I’m ever feeling overwhelmed, tired, or honesty just need a break he will always step up his game to relieve me from some of  the everyday routines. If you’re reading this and thinking “I would fall into the category of liking things done a certain way” I have an idea for you! If theres ever a time when you’re so busy and can’t get to the things that you like done a certain way, How about teaching your significant other how you like it done so that they can help pick up the slack?! After all, marriage is all about GIVING just as much as it is receiving.

 

THERE IS NO “I” IN TEAM

We run our home together! By not having an “assigned” household responsibility we eliminate any possible arguments that could arise as well as having no more expectation for August as I do myself because we are both responsible for everything! With that being said we also keep in mind what our strengths and weaknesses are. We both typically gravitate towards the things that we might be stronger in than the other. For example: August is pretty BOMB at managing our finances. (Which at some point I will have him do a blog series on that.) Finances isn’t one of my strengths.. just anything that has to do with number is really not one of my strengths so he spearheads that. However, that doesn’t mean that I walk in the dark about our finances! Im very well aware of all of our Income, Spending, How we do things and why. Like I mentioned earlier, we run our home together but that doesn’t mean that out of the 2 of us I should be the one to sit down & create a budget when I know that August is 100 times better at it than I am!

 

In my opinion, the best way to establish household responsibility in a marriage is summed up in one word: TOGETHERNESS. If you aren’t doing life together and/or sharing in responsibility than I would propose to you to ask yourself the why questions as to why one or both of you have chosen to do that and then re-evaluate how that is working out for you. Side note: if you are one of those that falls in the category of both of you making a decision to divide responsibility amongst yourselves, that IS togetherness!!  If that works for the both of you than keep doing that but if not, I encourage you to try something new! Being in relationship is all about trial and error, GRACE, Trial and error, then more GRACE until you arrive at your sweet spot. 🙂

Wether you are an engaged couple, Newly-wed, Already married or maybe just a single person trying to gain some more insight or ideas, I hope that this helps you in some way! We are all just trying to figure out this thing called life so rest assured.. NO ONE has nailed it!

 

<3- Ashleigh

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