The comparison curse…We all get faced with it at some point in our lives, right? Comparison can transpire in so many different areas of our lives but today I want to touch on the comparison curse in our body image! Thats right… We are going to go there! Don’t just think that this is just for women either, this topic absolutely effects men too! With everyone getting ready to set their “New Years Resolution’s” I figured this post would be pretty fitting in helping you stay laser focused on yourself and trying not to succumb to the comparison curse!
Let me share a bit of my story with you.. The comparison curse showed its ugly head when I was just a young girl. My sister, Shayla, who is 8 years older than I am, is naturally just really fit. Her body has the capability of forming muscle tone that will for the most part always look toned with or working out, she has little to no hips so she’s never had to worry about muffin top. In general, she has always carried a great physique. But me… I am built the complete opposite! I am pretty tall, thinner legs that have the tendency to expand rapidly along with my hips, stomach, face.. the list goes on. Basically, I think about eating carbs + sugar and its like my body sends signals to each area and is like “Wahoo, Pack it on friends!!”. Ive always struggled with weight even at a young age. Now, granted… its not like our parents fed us the healthiest of meals either. In fact, more often than not they were definitely not clean. Even still, my sister would always maintain her weight while I was the one who was starting to look like a blimp and I could feel it. It was then that I would look at my sister and the comparison curse would wrap around my mind and whisper awful lies in my head.” Its to bad you’re not like your sister… You’ll never look like your sister in a 2 piece… Your sister doesn’t have to worry about love handles hanging over your pants like you do..” You get the point. I hated it! I could never understand how Shayla and I could come from the same set of parents and be so drastically different! That just started me in a downward spiral of self contiousness + eventually a minor eating disorder.
YOU ARE UNIQUELY MADE
All of those thoughts as a young girl traveled with me into early adulthood. I started comparing myself with friends whose physique I liked better than my own or fitness people who I followed.. Let me tell you friends, It does you no service to fall victim to the comparison curse! It will only derail you from walking in the fullness of who you were created to be. It will cause you to not be fully happy with who you are and how uniquely made you are. Im pretty sure that it took me having our first baby to realize just how uniquely made I am. The way my body births a baby will be different from my sister or anyone else. The rate at which my body decides to shed fat will be different from anyone else. There is only ONE of ME! There is only one pair of Ashleigh’s legs, there’s only one set of Ashleigh’s hips.. there is only ONE uniquely made body like mine. There could be other women who have a similar Physique but ultimately there are still differences. I spent years falling victim to the comparison curse and it robbed me of finding just how unique my physique is. It robbed me of wanting to learn how MY body works and at the pace it works in. It robbed me of loving me for where i’m at in my current state. I let it rob me of LOVING MYSELF! Just that alone is enough to want to re-evaluate where my head is at, right?!
COMPARISON SAYS YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH
Now, lets be honest.. I still fall victim to the comparison curse but it mostly comes up in other things or it will make its appearance in a different kind of a way. Why am I sharing this with you? Because I feel like its something everyone struggles with at some point in life. Wether it be in the arena of your physical appearance, career or something else. Comparison says that you’re not good enough. Comparison is good at getting your eyes on everything else but yourself. Lisa Bevere says it perfectly: “Comparison will cause you to feel prideful or depressed, but NEVER fulfilled”. That quote couldn’t be more true! Nothing good comes from comparison.. All it does is feed your insecurities making you further insecure.
HOW DO WE OVERCOME COMPARISON IN THE NEW YEAR?!
GREAT QUESTION!!! My biggest advice to you that helps me every time is asking yourself the BIG questions:
A) In what areas do you feel like you’ve fallen victim to the comparison curse?
B) Have you made any moves towards removing comparison and replacing that with fulfillment and contentment as to where you are at right now in your life!?
C) Tell yourself a truth that you can believe in the present until you are able to tell yourself the full truth and believe it! (I.e: Full truth- I am bEAUTIFUL and uniquely made, no ones body is like mine so theres no need to compare myself to anyone else. Present truth- I am Uniquely made. )
THERE IS BEAUTY IN CELEBRATING YOUR PROCESS
The truth is.. None of us are perfect! We are all a work in progress.. but there is most definitely beauty in celebrating our process as we walk through it and being full of gratitude as we do! So as we are setting our New years Resolutions for 2018 lets vow to not weigh our progress to our goal next to someone else who is in a completely different place in life. That woman that has a banging’ physique on the treadmill next to you, I guarantee you also went through SOMETHING to get where she is at! It required dedication, focus, patience + grace in her self! If you’re missing that from the beginning than lets back up and start with self worth as your new year goal and build it on up!!
Start 2018 out by celebrating your process and blooming right where you are currently at in life!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!