Who ever said that 2 was the most difficult age was most definitely mistaken! Let me tell you that 2 year old Haven was a breeze. Tantrums were short lived and personal opinions weren’t as vocalized. No one warns you about the “Threenager” phase. When your cute little innocent one turns into a highly opinionated, strong willed, challenge you on almost everything 3 year old turned 16! Am I right or am I right?! I am going to share with you our 3 tips to surviving a threenager phase in hopes that it will give you some gems that might help you along in your journey of raising those amazing little ones + give you the back some self confidence you may need in your parenting because lets face it… Sometimes we can get down on ourselves thinking that we are the only ones dealing with this and that is so far from the truth!
LOVING YOUR KIDS ON PURPOSE
Tip #1 on ‘How To Survive The Threenager Phase’ is a book that has CHANGED. MY. LIFE! “Loving your kids on purpose”. I kid you not, just in the first 2 chapters I was in tears. Danny Silk gives the most simple but impactful tools for you to use that help empower your children, understand the power of choice and learn the difference between good and bad choices. When we started implementing some of these tools with Haven, we instantly saw a difference in her reaction! These tools take so much pressure off of the parents in a lot of ways because you learn that your children should actually be responsible for 50% of their relationship with you and have to learn how to control themselves instead of being controlled. On the flip side even you are having to learn how to control YOU. When you are stressed, they are likely to get stressed. When you react to a mistake that your 3 year old has made for the 2nd or 3rd time, they are likely to react in some way to your reaction OR expect a negative vibe from you! Needless to say, Loving your kids on purpose is a must read in my opinion and will not only change the way you parent but in general it will change you.
ONE ON ONE TIME
Tip #2 on ‘How to survive the threenager phase’ is fulfilling that little ones top love language! For Haven, that would be quality time for sure. She thrives off of it! Ever since having Emberleigh, we have found that we have to be more intentional about setting aside some one on one time with Haven. When she is lacking in some good quality time without her sister she starts to get a little cray cray. She’s at that age where she knows what she’s feeling but not quite sure how to vocalize what she really needs to eliminate the feeling so her translation comes out in her behavior. Usually whenever we set aside time for just her she has the quickest turnaround and is so much more balanced. We are kicking the threenager phase straight in the behind one love language at a time!
Tip #3 on ‘How to survive the threenager phase’ is making sure that you are surrounded by people who can encourage you and give you helpful tips along the way. This one has been huge for me as thankfully, most of our friends have children around the same age as Haven so we act as support for one another on tough days. I’ve said this before in a previous post and I will say it again because I feel like its so important… Community is everything!! Without it you may feel like you and your significant other are alone on an island raising your littles with no one there to cheer you on! Its so vital to have people around you to help lift you up and you do the same for them.
The threenager phase is rough, but we have found these 3 things extremely helpful and are getting us through without loosing our minds. Dare I even say that its also strengthening us and teaching us how to parent better. Hopefully, they will do the same for you! Regardless, I have great news for you my friend, YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!!
Cheers to getting through the threenager phase with flying colors!