3 Marriage Truths I’d Tell My Younger Engaged Self

June 25th, 2011 I made the best decision of my life when I said ‘I DO’ to this hilarious, kind and sexy husband of mine, August Coryell! I mean… I just have to take a moment to brag on him before I even go on! Not only is he an amazing husband but he’s also literally the BEST daddy to our little girls. I often tell people that he was made to have girls! Let’s face it… girls are dramatic and our emotions are crazy sometimes! I’m convinced that it takes a very gracious, patient and loving man to have a ton of girls in the home, August is 150% that man! Okay, back to the point. The day of our anniversary I was thinking of ‘3 Marriage Truths I’d Tell My Younger Engaged Self’ + these 3 immediately came to mind:

  1. Life happens the moment you say ‘I DO’:                                                                                                                                                           Many times people have this idea that your first year of marriage or even the first few years is pure “bliss”. It’s all vacations, nesting with furniture and other things that you didn’t pick out on your own (haha) and lots and lots of joyous sex. Oh younger engaged self… little did you know. I’m going to be quite honest… that was NOT us! Without going into a ton of detail, a little over a month after we got married, August’s dad passed away suddenly and just like that my vows that I just spoken a little over a month ago became reality. I was still trying to figure out how to be a wife and right then I had to learn how to become a wife of a grieving husband. That was a wild ride for us!  Life happened to us after ‘I DO’. Im not sharing this so that you can feel bad for us, I’m sharing this because I learned that no matter what, our ‘I DO’ meant that if and when life throws its curve balls we will strive to be forever patient and give each other grace to process. I learned that you can’t stop life from happening so you have to adjust to life accordingly. Lastly, I learned to become a really great listener and am constantly striving to become an even better one. Although our first year of marriage threw so many curve balls… it strengthened us, it pulled us closer and more than ever before made us feel like we CAN and WILL conquer life’s adventures without letting go of each others hand. The marriage truth i’d tell my younger engaged self: Remind yourself of those vows that you’ve made when you are faced with life challenges. Those words aren’t just fluff words.. they are a declaration of commitment for your significant other.
  2. Love means taking risks:                                                                                                                                                        When August and I first started dating he expressed his desire to move to LA so it had always been in the cards for us to move here. However… When it was actually time to pack up our things, say goodbye to friends, church and all that I have ever known my entire life and head to LA, I was a hot mess! August drove the Uhaul and I drove our car (which by the way- the AC decided not to work just days before our journey and it was like driving through Hell in the desert it was so hot!). Shedding tears the entire way {Not even exagurating} all I could repeat in my head was “his dream is worth risking my comfort” and “I trust him”. When we got to our tiny 500 sq ft apartment we signed our lease agreement and that was it! There was no turning back now.. I learned SO much about myself during our first 2 years here in LA. It was hard! LA was not kind to this Las Vegas native. Tears were shed almost on the daily, the longing for friends and community were great. I mean the list just goes on.. But I look back now and realize that had I never taken the risk to move here for the sake of my husbands dream I wouldn’t have gained the same foundation of trust in August as I have now. He had everything weighing on his shoulders: the pressure to provide, my daily emotions, trying to navigate through the film industry… Yet my taking the risk on his dream created some type of high respect and trust between us. Risk is something we naturally don’t like to do often but the reward that comes from it whether it ends successfully or in a learning curve is always great! So the marriage truth id tell my younger engaged self is to expect that taking risk on your significant others dream or passion to be so uncomfortable that you’ll want to run, but your LOVE for each other will grow so much stronger if you allow yourself to go there and not be resentful of the risk that was taken! Risk, and risk hard!
  3. Keeping laughter alive is always a good idea:                                                                                                                        We say often to each other “I’m so glad that we can laugh with each other!”.  No joke, Laughter can get us out of almost any funk! We strive to keep the laughter alive in our home on the daily. Even when it comes to our kids! I feel like I used to be a pretty serious person before I met August… Then when I married into the Coryell family I quickly realized that I needed to loosen up! They were all jokesters and making me uncomfortable almost every 20 minutes, but it was a good discomfort. Laugh about things that go wrong during sex or words that you say wrong when you are talking intensely about something! JUST LAUGH!!! The marriage truth id tell my younger engaged self is to let go of the “perfect wife” mentality. I don’t have to be super perfect with my husband all the time nor does he expect that from me, so any expectations are removed allowing us to just be ourselves and laugh about our weirdness with each other.

6 beautiful years of marriage have brought us crazy J O Y, Laughter, T E A R S, 2 amazing little girls and a L O V E worth fighting every minute for!

{Tip of the Day}: Celebrate the things in your relationship that strengthen, stretch and challenge you. Lastly.. find something to L A U G H about together on the daily!!

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